Recovery, LGBT and in the news

Feb. 23, 2016 - Readings in Recovery: Today's Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation

Tuesday, Feb. 23, 2016 Today's thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is: There are sounds to seasons. There are sounds to places, and there are sounds to every time in one's life. -- Alison Wyrley Birch Live is rich and full. Your life. My life. Even when the day feels flat or hollow, there's a richness to it that escapes our attention. We see only what we choose to see. We hear selectively, too. Our prejudgment precludes our getting the full effects of any experience. Some days we hear only the drum of the humdrum. But the greater our faith in the program and a loving God, the clearer our perceptions become. We miss less of the day's events; we grow in our understanding of our unfolding, and we perceive with clarity the role others are playing in our lives. We can see life as a concert in progress when we transcend our own narrow scope and appreciate the variety of people and situations all directed toward the same finale. The more we're in tune with the spiritual activity surrounding us, the more harmoniously we will be able to perform our parts. I will listen to the music of today. I will get in tune, in rhythm. I am needed for the concert's beauty. You are reading from the book: Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey. © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation

Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 steps, religion and a secular alternative

” …(A)ny alcoholic capable of honestly facing his problems in the light of our experience can recover, provided he does not close his mind to all spiritual concepts. He can only be defeated by an attitude of intolerance or belligerent denial.”

—

“We find that no one need have difficulty with the spirituality of the program. Willingness, honesty and open-mindedness are the essentials of recovery. But these are indispensable.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “Appendices,” No. 2 (“Spiritual Experience”), p 570.

By Christopher MacNeil
Freelance blogger

When the person addicted to alcohol, drugs or compulsive behaviors like sex, shoplifting or eating makes the decision to recover, he may face an equally life-altering choice: which recovery program to take.

Those choices were fewer as recently as a single generation ago when most readily available programs were modeled after the 12-step philosophy of Alcoholics Anonymous, the grandfather of 12-step recovery programs and their companion family support groups. Founded 81 years ago in 1935, AA counters criticism that it is religious in nature with the disclaimer that it is “spiritual, not religious” in nature and practice. Yet agnostic and atheistic addicts argue otherwise – along with high-level court systems.

In the 10 years between 1996 and 2007, two state supreme courts and three federal circuit courts (one a single wrung below the U.S. Supreme Court) heard cases from petitioners in state custody who argued they were being coerced to participate in a religious program by being ordered to attend AA meetings. Requiring AA meetings as a condition of their probation, parole or incarceration violated the federal constitution’s separation of church and state, petitioners said.

Perhaps the strongest opinion in the argument – and in favor of the petitioners – came from the New York Court of Appeals in the case of Griffin v. Coughlin, 1996:

“A fair reading of the fundamental A.A. doctrinal writings discloses that their dominant theme is unequivocally religious.
Indeed, the A.A. basic literature most reasonably would be characterized as reflecting the traditional elements common to most theistic religions. Thus, God is named or referred to in five of the 12 steps. “Working” the 12 steps includes confessing to God the “nature of our wrongs” (Step 5), appealing to God “to remove our shortcomings” (Step 7) and seeking “through prayer and meditation” to make “contact” with God and achieve “knowledge of His Will” (Step 11).”

 

Differently worded but similar judicial sentiments were expressed in each of four other court cases – Kerr v. Farrey (1996), Evans v. Tennessee Board of Paroles (1997), Warner v. Orange County Dept. of Probation (1999) and Inouye v. Kemna (2007). The collective influence of those legal opinions has been that some recovery programs have stricken references to God and prayer – a staple in 12-step meetings – or substituted them for non-religious or secular mentions of a “higher power” and “seeking knowledge of His (God’s) will for us.”

Even within AA itself, some local groups have risked accusations of “rewriting the program” by omitting prayer and references to God from their meetings while retaining the intent of the program – to help the alcoholic or drug and compulsive behavior addict find and succeed in a recovery program that is best suited for him.

 

Sentencing courts in local jurisdictions across the country are acquiescing in part to higher court opinions by no longer ordering probationers or parolees to AA meetings. Instead, judges are opting for alcohol or drug education classes that are usually facilitated by private counseling firms that have been contracted by the court system. Classes are almost always void of any 12-step discussion and focus solely on the physical and psychological damage of drug addiction and abuse.

Critics of the religious element of AA and other 12-step programs for other addictions it inspired contend they are not discrediting or bashing 12-step programs but, instead, recognize the need for secular programs with which the agnostic or atheistic addict feels most likely to work for him. But they also point out an underlying challenge to 12-step philosophy that some in recovery find disturbing if not factually unfounded.

AA and similar groups for other addictive behaviors are partly based on the premise that their addictions are lifelong and never cured, only arrested by “surrendering” an individual’s will and wants to a “higher power.” Some in recovery resist the implication that they are waging a daily battle to avoid a return to drinking or some other self-destructive conduct. Others are more resistant to the implication that they have no choice in their recovery and must give up any decision-making – in 12-step language, “self-will run riot” – by praying to God’s for “his will for him and the power to carry” it out.

Some commentators have submitted that AA and other 12-step programs that embrace its religious elements (as validated by at least five higher-court systems) are at a “tipping point.” What they mean by that is not entirely clear although the obvious inference is that they may be on the precipice of dissolving. That’s unlikely by virtue of their longevity, public recognition and ready accessibility and that they arguably remain the first consideration of the addict ready to get into recovery.

One writer for a website called aaagnostica.org may have been more accurate and provocative, however, when she wrote: “If the fellowship (of AA) has any hope of being a non-religious fellowship for ALL suffering alcoholics with a desire to stop drinking, and being recognized as such by the Courts and by the public at large, it lies in strengthening its commitment to the 12 Traditions. The Traditions do not require AA groups to embrace religious doctrines and practices” (May 27, 2012).

Whether a recovery program is religious in nature or not may be insignificant to the addict fresh out of active use and eager to get into recovery. But it can be predicted that the ideology of the program may become an issue down the road, especially if the addict is agnostic or atheist. At that point, then, the only relevant question may be which program is most successful for the addict’s recovery and abstention from alcohol, drugs or compulsive behavior that afflicts him.

And then the choice of which program becomes a fairly simple one: Take your recovery where you find it. If it works, you’re where you need to be.

June 21, 2014 - Step by Step

Step by Step
Saturday, June 21, 2014
 
"The wars which had been fought, the burnings and chicanery that religious dispute had facilitated, made me sick. I honestly doubted whether, on balance, the religions of mankind had done any good. Judging from what I had seen in Europe and since, the power of God in human affairs was negligible, the Brotherhood of Man a grim jest. If there was a Devil, he seemed the Boss Universal, and he certainly had me." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 1 ("Bill's Story"), p 11.

Today, may I not reject the possibility that a higher power of good can exist despite all the bad - even evil - that I see every day. Just as Bill W. shared as co-founder of the Program, cynicism may block willingness for me to believe the possibility that something stronger and better than myself could exist to set me on the journey toward sobriety and recovery. Perhaps a beginning is to understand the distinction between religion and spirituality and that one has nothing to do with the other. The Program does not require me to adhere to any religious code; it does require that I come to believe in a Higher Power or God of my understanding. But how can I be reconciled to the bad that surrounds me, including wars and all other affairs? If I can accept that one of our most precious collective gifts is the freedom of choice, is it not plausible that the state of man is a direct consequence of his choices individually and collectively? If so, cannot what is bad around me be the consequence of man's self-will run riot and not because of a punitive god? Today, I set out to find my Higher Power of my understanding, not of man's religious concept. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2014

June 21, 2014 - Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Twenty-Four Hours a Day
Saturday, June 21, 2014
 
AA Thought for the Day
Intelligent faith in that Power greater than ourselves can be counted on to stabilize our emotions. It has an incomparable capacity to help us look at life in balanced perspective. We look up, around and away from ourselves, and we see that nine out of 10 things which at the moment upset us will shortly disappear. Problems solve themselves, criticism and unkindness vanish as though they had never been.

Have I got the proper perspective toward life?

Meditation for the Day
A truly spiritual man or woman would like to have a serene mind. The only way to keep calm in this troubled world is to have a serene mind. The calm and sane mind sees spiritual things as the true realities and material things as only temporary and fleeting. That sort of mind you can never obtain by reasoning, because your reasoning powers are limited by space and time. That kind of a mind you can never obtain by reading, because other minds are also limited in the same way. You can only have that mind by an act of faith, by making the venture of belief.

Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may have a calm and sane mind. I pray that I may look up, around and away from myself.

Hazelden Foundation

June 21, 2014 - A Day at a Time

A Day at a Time
Saturday, June 21, 2014
 
Reflection for the Day
"Direct" is a key word in the Ninth Step. There are times, unfortunately, where many of us are hopeful that indirect amends will suffice, sparing us the pain and supposed humiliation of approaching people in person and telling them of our wrongs. This is evasion and will never give us a true sense of breaking with the wrongdoings of the past. It shows that we're still trying to defend something that isn't worth defending, hanging on to conduct that we ought to abandon. The usual reasons for sidestepping direct amends are pride and fear.

As I make amends to others, do I realize that the real, lasting benefits accrue to me?

Today I Pray
May I be sure that the best reward for coming on straight as I try to repair my damages is, after all, my own. But may I avoid making amends purely for my own benefit - to be forgiven, to be reinstated, to flaunt the "new me." Ego-puffing and people-pleasing are not part of the real "new me." God save me from opportunism.

Today I Will Remember
No puffery or people-pleasing.

Hazelden Foundation

June 21, 2014 - The Eye Opener

The Eye Opener
Saturday, June 21, 2014
 
We alcoholics have lived in two entirely different worlds that were separated only by an act of decision.

One day we lived in a world filled with hostile people, a world devoid of understanding and sympathy; a world of ugliness, suffering and despair. By this act of decision, a new day was created and we were transported into a different world.

If you would change the world, change yourself.

June 21, 2014 - Today's Gift from Hazelden

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stay there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again... but also, she will never sit down on a cold one any more.
 -- Mark Twain

"Last night I asked for help, but the person couldn't give it to me. Tonight I'm not going to ask because I'll be refused."  Poor us! One person has rejected us, so now we've got the whole world rejecting us. We believe if one person lets us down, everyone else will too.

Such thinking, as negative as it is, can provide safety. If we believe we can't trust anymore, then we won't. But there won't be any growth in this kind of safety. By condemning everyone, we won't see those who want to help.

To find help we may have to ask several people. If a few people turn us away, we shouldn't give up hope. There are many flowers in the field of life, but to pick the best, we need to look at them all.

If I get rejected it doesn't mean I'm a bad person or no one can be trusted. It means I need to take another risk or maybe two.

From the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

Night Light by Amy E. Dean. © 1986, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation

June 20, 2014 - Step by Step

Step by Step
Friday, June 20, 2014
 
"It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning. I saw that growth could start from that point. Upon a foundation of complete willingness I might build what I saw ..." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 1 ("Bill's Story"), p 12.

Today, the words of Bill W. should be empowering enough for me to take a leap of blind faith in a power greater than myself, if I am still struggling with the concept of a Higher Power. Just as I was warned repeatedly in my drinking days that my spouse or partner would leave me, that I would be fired if I showed up at work hungover or drunk if I even showed up at all, or my next DUI would be elevated to a felony, AA's co-founders and early members warn now that I absolutely must come to believe in something stronger and better than myself if I have a prayer for sobriety and recovery. In my drinking days, I didn't yield to many of the warnings I got, and I got the outcome that was promised because I didn't stop drinking; today, I yield to the warnings of the Program's co-founders and become at least willing to believe. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2014

June 20, 2014 - Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Twenty-Four Hours a Day
Friday, June 20, 2014
 
AA Thought for the Day
You should be ready and willing to carry the AA message when called upon to do so. Live for some purpose greater than yourself. Each day you will have something to work for. You have received so much from this program that you should have a vision that gives your life a direction and purpose that gives meaning to each new day. Let us not slide along through life. Let us have a purpose for each day and let us make that purpose for something greater than just ourselves.

What is my purpose for today?

Meditation for the Day
To see God with eyes of faith is to cause God's power to manifest itself in the material world. God cannot do His work because of unbelief. In response to your belief, God can work a miracle in your personality. All miracles happen in the realm of personality and all are caused by and based on belief in God's never-failing power. But God's power cannot manifest itself in personalities, unless those personalities make His power available by their faith. We can only see God with the eyes of faith, but this kind of seeing produces a great change in our way of living.

Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may see God with the eyes of faith. I pray that this seeing will produce a change in my personality.

Hazelden Foundation

June 20, 2014 - A Day at a Time

A Day at a Time
Friday, June 20, 2014
 
Reflection for the Day
When we take the Ninth Step, we must be willing to be absolutely honest. Obviously, though, indiscriminate "absolute honesty" would blow the roof off many a house and entirely destroy some relationships. We must hold nothing back through deceit and pride; we may need to hold something back by discretion and consideration of others. Just when and how we tell the truth - or keep silent - can often reveal the difference between genuine integrity and none at all.

Am I grateful for the products of truth which, through the grace of God, I have been privileged to receive?

Today I Pray
May I have the wisdom to know the fine-line difference between tact and dishonesty. In my eagerness to make restitution, may I not be the charmer, the flatterer or the crawler who insists, "You're so good, and I'm so bad." All are forms of dishonesty and hark back to the role-playing days of my active addiction. May I recognize them.

Today I Will Remember
Tact is honest selectivity.

Hazelden Foundation